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I have a great deal of respect for our law enforcement.
As a helping professional myself, I didn't like you, though.
I know your type. You are the kind who enjoys trying to intimidate cooperative citizens.
And you probably thought you ruined my day, but you didn't.
To me, there is a difference between following the letter of the law versus the spirit of the law,
and that our society has blurred the whole thing.
I know you have a quota to make.
And that you don't know that I am an exemplary citizen,
who pays taxes, votes, and is raising 3 more exemplary citizens.
And that I always want to abide by the law.
Like, if I discover I left something in my cart without paying for it after getting to my car,
I will go back in and pay for it, even if it's just a pack of gum.
I realize you didn't know that I left my 3 girls to be at work at 6:30.
And that one of them called me in tears about something that was a pretty big deal.
And that I thought about her all day and couldn't wait to just hold her.
I know you didn't share my excitement when I got out of work an hour early,
because I had plans for me and my little girl.
10 minutes before we met I went to my folks' to pick up the girls,
but the gate was not working.
Nice of you to tell me that you didn't care.
I had to drive around to find an alternate entrance.
I know, I know, you don't care, but I missed the left turn to get into the alternate entrance.
You see, I am a total loser when it comes to finding things, and I have ZERO sense of direction.
That doesn't mean I don't obey traffic signs, though.
I went to the next light and saw this sign:

I also saw you.
It is a personal goal of mine not to break traffic laws, especially in front of a cop.
There was absolutely nobody behind me, so I wasn't stopping the flow of traffic to turn around here.
Being the rule follower that I am, when I saw this sign in the median, I interpreted that to mean that it was to protect a minority of people who might consider turning left into all those trees and bushes. In my estimation, a no u-turn sign would be more appropriate than a no left turn.
I'm just sayin'.
Like this one which was the next light north, and why I chose the aforementioned light to turn around.
Now, that's a sign that tells me what I can't do.
I mean, there's not one but TWO signs, in case I missed the first.
I thought I was good. Really, I did. I know you think I'm stupid.
I'm very left-brained and I look for signs to keep me out of trouble.
Maybe you're right and I'm wrong,
but I still believe I made a reasonable and prudent decision and didn't put anyone in jeopardy.
You asked if I saw the "huge" no u-turn and no left-hand turn signs.
I assured you that if I had, I would not have chosen to ignore it.
I started to doubt myself that the u-turn sign actually existed.
You looked at my insurance card, and informed me that it expired yesterday. Oh, the luck.
During the 8 hours it took you to write the ticket,
I had time to call Romeo who told me where the insurance card was.
I was so flattered when I told you where the card was, and you said you were going to give me the benefit of the doubt on that anyway because THAT was an "expensive ticket."
Gee, thanks, pal.
I happen to know that you are not a benefit-of-the-doubt-kind-of-guy,
and have access to insurance databases.
You informed me of my 3 options.
Guess which one I'm choosing?
Oh, and you can't give me a ticket for telling all my friends about you.
We still have the 1st amendment, at least for now.
I will see you on December 7th.
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